Why is gratitude so important? How does it help us feel happier, reduce feelings of stress and negativity? How does it support our mental wellbeing?

We often tend to focus on the negative. It isn’t our fault. We are predisposed to think and feel this way. It is actually much easier to focus on the negative, rather than the positive. We are often living by the hormones of stress as we are in ‘fight or flight’ much of the time. We are also often surrounded by negativity. Think of the news, or when you open a newspaper. We feed off negativity.

So how can we change this?

There is often so much to be grateful for in life. However, we miss much of what is around us. We have a preference to focus on the negative. It’s inbuilt.
“I haven’t got this” “ I haven’t got that” “I’ll be happy when….” You recognise this, right?

So how can we focus on the positive? How can we focus on what we have got rather than what we haven’t? How can we make powerful change?

We always have a choice.

I am going to share some powerful, yet simple tips with you.

Before I do, I want to tell you that scientific research shows that being in gratitude leads to happiness.

Further, in a survey on gratitude in adult professionals, British psychologist and wellness expert Robert Holden found that 65 out of 100 people selected happiness over health, although they indicated that both were equally important for a good life. Holden, in his study, suggested that the roots of many psychopathological conditions like depression, anxiety, and stress are unhappiness. Science also shows us that gratitude improves health.

This diagram shows us how the neuroscience of gratitude can affect the brain. Gratitude actually changes the neural structures in the brain, making us feel happier and more content.

Tips for gratitude

1. Complete a Journal

Set some time aside every day. Focus on the things, places, experiences you are happy and grateful for in your life. What did you achieve today? Who did you impact? Who impacted positively on you? What new choices or decisions did you make? Any type of journaling about your day can get you off autopilot, be more focussed and allow you to be more in the moment. We often let life pass us by. This will allow you to focus on all the good, happiness, successes and wins that are happening in your life.

2. A Gratitude Diary

Buy a small notepad. At the end of every day, either before bed or when you get into bed, write down at least five things you are grateful for. They can be something little like what you had for breakfast, to something huge, like a big life decision. This is the thing. You always have to get to five. Some days they will roll off your tongue and onto the paper and you will write reams and reams. Other days you may struggle to get to five. You aways have to get there. Do this every day, and you will soon start noticing big changes.

3. Breath

We fail to breath properly. Shallow breathing happens when we are in stress, anxiety or worry. Once we become mindful of good strong breathing from the diaphragm, this can make huge changes. Find a nice quite space and sit up straight. Firstly start by getting quiet, and noticing your breathing. Then practice a technique called 6-7-8.

With your mouth closed, breath in through the nose for the count of six. Feel the tummy expand. Hold the breath for the count of seven. Then release slowly through the mouth for eight. Try this several times. It is naturally proven to reduce cortisol, the stress hormone. It will get you in a space feeling much more calm and relaxed. This is so good, you can do it mostly anywhere! Practice as much as you like throughout the day, you will see wonderful benefits. It also sets you up amazingly well for the day the moment you wake up!

4. Gratitude Alphabet

This is a great one to help you get to sleep at night, or if you wake up in the middle of the night (poor sleep affects a huge amount of people). As you close your eyes and think of what you are grateful for that begins with A. The with B. Then with C. So on and so forth. I can guarantee if you focus on this fully, you will fall asleep before you get to Z!

All these exercises help rewire the brain. They allow us to focus on the positive, rather than the negative. Forcing us to look for the positive. And trust me, there is so much around….if we chose to look for it! Its also helps us be in the now, rather than being depressed, upset or sad (the past) or anxious and/ or worried (the future, it hasn’t even happened yet).

Janine work with organisations and individuals.

We can all experience a little anxiety or tension now, and that’s okay. For example if we have to stand up and deliver a talk, or if we take a test or an exam.

But what if you are suffering with crippling anxiety that is taking over your life and you are unsure of the signs or symptoms?

Anxiety can come in many different forms – panic attacks, social anxiety, fears or worries.

I will run through some common signs.

Sleep problems

If you commonly find yourself awake in the middle of the night finding yourself consistently worried or agitated, this may be linked to anxiety. Or perhaps you find your mind continually racing, whereby you can’t calm yourself down. These can be common symptoms. Poor sleep can lead to health complaints, can impact on poor decision making ability, and interfere with your ability to stave off infections. Poor sleep is often a real issue for those suffering with anxiety.

Muscle tension

Regular tensing of certain muscles including clenching your jaw and flexing your muscles across your body can often be linked to anxiety. More regular exercise will help, as will stretching the core areas. Exercises in general is great for reducing any kind of mental health complaints.

Panic

Panic attacks can be debilitating and scary. They will usually involve an overwhelming feeling of helplessness accompanied by difficulties breathing. This will also include chest or stomach pain, racing heart and a gripping fear. A panic attack can last for several minutes at a time.

Not everyone who has panic attacks suffer with an anxiety disorder, however if you experience with panic attacks on a regular basis, than the two could be linked.

Stress can then often be a causal factor. If you are worried about panic attacks, please speak to your GP. My advise would also be this. If you feel a panic attack coming on, or you could be in a situation where one my arise, I would suggest actually to go with it. Allow it, accept it and breath into it. You will find the symptoms will be much lessened and reduced. You often find with panic attacks, if you try to resist them, this will often cause more of an issue.

Lack of social confidence

Anxiety can be caused in regular every day occurrences and interactions. This can bring on feelings of panic, nausea and a feeling of overwhelm. This can lead to difficulties in social situations or daily interactions. This can be often linked to anxiety, and can be debilitating in many ways. In the most serious scenario, the sufferer may even struggle to leave their home for fear of being faced by others they don’t know in a social situation or a a place in similar context.

Excessive worry

Worrying about every day occurrences, whether they are big or small, can be the hallmark of an anxiety disorder. A certain amount of worry now and again can actually be perfectly normal. This is often common human make up. If, however you are persistently anxiously worrying, and it interferes with daily life and is accompanied by symptoms such as fatigue, this is likely to be linked to anxiety disorder. In addition, it is likely to be an issue if emotional reactions are causing suffering and dysfunction.

Compulsive behaviours

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be described as compelling ‘ritual’ tasks over and over, whereby you’re anxiety is heightened, until the task gets completed. This can include obsessive hand washing, or the need to check switches and locks lots of times. Often, intrusive thoughts can be accompanied by compulsive behaviours. This can include the sufferer telling themselves to do something over and over, until the level of anxiety is reduced. If you are concerned about this type of behaviour affecting you, or someone you know, please contact your GP.

Flashbacks

This is the experience of reliving a a traumatic event that may have happened in the past. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can play a huge part in this type of behaviour. Any trauma that has been experienced can be so stressful and create anxious feelings or emotions, it can keep returning in the form of flashbacks. They may occur with other types of anxiety as well, and all may not be attributed to PTSD.

Indigestion problems

Anxiety may start in the mind, but it often manifests itself in the body through physical symptoms, like chronic digestive problems. Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), can be described as anxiety of the digestive tract. IBS is something that a sufferer can deal with for many years and can often be triggered by stress. The onset of problems can then lead to further anxiety. If you do suffer with any problems, please consult your GP for support.

If you are currently suffering with any form of anxiety, or resonate with any of the problems above, you don’t need to suffer alone. There is much support and all the above symptoms can be alleviated or removed actually much quicker than you might think.

Don’t hesitate to get in touch if you need more information or to find out how I can help you, or someone else you know. How much is anxiety costing you, and how debilitating is it to you and for those around you? You don’t need to suffer.

Janine is the Founder of Change for Success.

She specialises in working with people to transform their lives. She does this by helping them overcome stress, anxiety and depression.

She works with private clients either online or at her prestigious consulting rooms in the heart of Manchester city centre 

Janine also runs stress management workshops and helps companies and organisations improve their performance by reducing stress in the workplace.

Check out her website for more information and to see what others have said –

www.changeforsuccess.co.uk/testimonials

Stress is now so commonplace in the world we live in. Things are meant to be getting easier, but life appears to becoming more stressful, right? So what can we do to relieve stress?

I am going to share with you six simple and very effective stress busting tips that will help you to relieve stress.

1. Exercise. Get yourself moving, get out and get some fresh air. If you are based in an office, don’t be slumped over your desk every lunch time shovelling a sandwich in your mouth while you answer emails. Go outside, even if it’s for just ten minutes. It will actually make you more productive and it will get some much needed fresh air in your lungs. Exercise is a wonderful way to naturally produce happy hormones. From gentle exercises and walks during the day, to gym sessions, classes or yoga. Make sure you have your regular dose. Even a ten minute walk every day can do wonders.

2. Avoid caffeine. Drinking lots of drinks full of caffeine throughout the day can actually lead you to feel more lethargic and tired. You might think it’s a quick fix, but it’s really not going to help. Instead, get used to drinking lots more water. If this isn’t something commonplace for you, then start off small. Have a water bottle with you, and ensure you are drinking plenty throughout the day. Water will also help flush out toxins in the system as well. It will also improve your energy levels and will actually make you look and feel more youthful! Many studies have been conducted in this area. You want to be aiming for two litres a day.

3. Breath. It is commonly known that we don’t breathe correctly. We often take shallow breaths, and don’t fill the diaphragm correctly. This can also impact on our heart rate and stress levels. Sit down and take several deep breaths throughout the course of your day. This won’t only help you start breathing more correctly, but by focussing on your breath, this will allow you to take yourself away from familiar stressful or worrisome thoughts.

4. Turn off all devices before bed. The bedroom is supposed to be a haven for sleep and relaxation. The majority of clients that come to see me will usually suffer some kind of sleep complaint. More and more we are attached to our devices, and they follow us to bed. Leave all those items in another room. Allow yourself to wind down two hours before sleep time. Read a good book, or have a nice relaxing bath. A host of electronic gadgets in the bedroom will just disturb your sleep either when you are trying to go to sleep, or if you wake up in the night time.

5. Meditate. Mediation has been proven to reduce stress time and time again, for years. It doesn’t mean you have to be all zen and sit crossed legged on the floor for hours on end. It may simply be 5-10 minutes of closing your eyes and gently focusing on your breath. If any thoughts do pop in (which they will!) simply accept them, and allow them to move on. There is also a whole host of mediation apps you can download. You can also find many different meditations on YouTube.

6. Check your diet. Are you getting enough vitamins and nutrients? A poor diet lacking in fresh fruit and veg and high in sugar and fat can most definitely contribute to stress. Convenience food isn’t going to cut it, it’s full of all kinds of rubbish and usually high in sugar and salt. The more bad food we are going to put in our bodies, the more it can’t do us any good, and can actually contribute to stress. Prepare food from fresh wherever possible. The actual ritual of spending time as a family preparing fresh and healthy food together and talking though how your day has gone, rather than relying on takeaways and all spending time on your separate devices can reduce stress alone. You literally are what you eat!

Please do let me know how you get on, I would love to hear more. Work though what you can of the strategies above and see what works for you.

Rather than become disheartened or disinterested, look at these new habits and routines as the new you. Set yourself goals to achieve the ones that are right for you. You will be surprised at how you get on and the wonderful changes that you will see!

Janine is the founder of Change for Success. She specialises in working with people to transform their lives. She does this by helping them overcome stress, anxiety and depression. She works with private clients at her consulting rooms in Manchester city centre. She also runs stress management workshops and helps companies and organisations improve their performance by reducing stress in the workplace.

Check out her website for more information and to see what others have said –

www.changeforsuccess.co.uk/testimonials

How does stress impact staff?

Your wonderful workforce by the way is incidentally your one biggest asset. It’s the nuts and bolts of what drives your business to success!

Your biggest asset isn’t the latest marketing strategy, or a highly visible presence on social media, or a big glitzy advertising campaign. Its your employees. The driving force of any business, plain and simple.

So how does stress negatively impact on staff and then inadvertently on business and productivity?

A survey was conducted in 2012 by ComPsych (www.compsych.com) in which they surveyed 2500 employees. Its main findings were that stressors like workload, people issues, lack of work/life balance and job insecurity are likely to cause reduced levels of productivity at work. Yes people, poor productively in your business!

The World Health Organisation calls stress “the health epidemic of the 21st century.

There has been a wealth of studies conducted that have researched what factors affect work performance, including how this is impacted by stress levels and how valued staff feel in the workplace.

A study was conducted by the University of Bahrain which is published in the Business and Management Research Journal. This is titled ‘How stress can affect your work performance’. This research paper was conducted by Dr. Muwafaq Alkubaisi (2105) One of main findings of the study was that work stress has a negative impact on employee’s performance.

This is one of a plethora of studies, which show similar findings.

The long term thing is this. Stressed out employees are negatively impacting on business growth. Sapping away the longevity of the success of the business which then leads to financial constraints and many other related problems.

The ComPsych survey as referred to above reportedly established the five main reasons why stressed out employees are killing off your economic growth –

Increased absenteeism

Nearly 15% of respondents surveyed said that stress causes them to miss days from work. You may think they just have a bad immune system, but the truth is that at least some of the time, employees are having to stay off work out of necessity.

Missed deadlines and mistakes

Over 20% of the surveyed employees directly attributed stress to missed deadlines and mistakes in their work. Not only is work taking longer to get done on the first pass, but mistakes are causing additional slowdowns.

Lack of focus

It’s hard enough for some workers to focus in an office environment; add in extreme levels of stress, and you have a perfect recipe for distraction. Over 56% of participants reported that they had trouble focusing due to stress. When this manifests in your office, employees may look like they’re working, but it’ll take longer for them to complete tasks than usual.

Tardiness

That once-bright employee who is suddenly 15 to 45 minutes late several times a week? This is directly linked to burnout. Over 14% of employees said that job-related stress increased their lateness.

Interpersonal difficulties

Over 15% of participants said that stress within the job made it difficult for them to connect or get along with superiors and coworkers.

So take some time out now to consider how you are looking after your employees. Or how you feel yourself as an employee within your organisation. Do you feel valued? Do trip into work with a sense of motivation and pride? Do you notice a positive energy within your team, or is it constantly full of doom and gloom? Do you feel a real sense of worth? Are you able to approach your manager with ease if you have any work or personal problems you need to share?

CEO’s/ HR people/ Managers – what to do? Get down to staff level. Are your staff satisfied in their job role? Do they feel listened to and heard? Are they on burn out much of the time? Is there regular moaning and complaining going about the office? Are your staff away from work with regular sickness? Are staff able to talk about any work or personal issues to their direct line manager? No really, are they? What is the culture of staff and the way they work, is it in the dark ages? Are staff constantly putting in extra hours to catch up?

These are just some simple things to think about.

One absolutely amazing organisation to check out if you don’t know of it already is UKFast, a web hosting and cloud company, based in Manchester in the UK run by the amazing and award winning Laurence Jones. You can pick up the tangible atmosphere the minute you walk into the place. They have a slide in the building and a fully stocked bar. The staff bounce around the place eager to help anyone who comes into the building. It is no wonder they are currently in the top ten companies to work for in the UK as decided by the Telegraph.

This, in my view is a perfect example of how to run an organisation.

Employees can massively receive value in stress management and resilience training. It will allow them to look at things in a new perspective and give them a great ability to cope with work pressures placed on them. It will in turn improve productivity, reduce staff absenteeism and will improve staff morale.

Here are are some useful tips I would like you to take away 

• Ensure no staff are eating at their desk and that they get proper lunch breaks. This will improve energy, enthusiasm and ability to get things done. Working ‘over lunch’ will just make things worse.
• Consider installing a fresh water fountain and encourage staff to drink more water which will keep them hydrated and energised. Typically, 8 glasses a day is good. Steer as far away from the caffeine as possible which will actually cause more of a slump and dehydrate.
• Arrange so ‘away days’ where staff can all participate in fun activity together and ensure there are regular arranged social events. This can be anything from a game or a quiz once a week from social occasions arranged either after work one evening, during lunch break or on a weekend. We don’t have to reserve social events to Christmas/ once a year!

Please let me know if you enjoyed reading the article and let me know what you are putting in place for your staff, I would be very glad to hear how you are doing!

Until next time!

Janine

Janine is a stress management expert. She offers bespoke packages to organisations both in the private and public sector to help their staff and managers to be more productive and to be happy and successful in their roles.

For more information give Janine a call on 07854273916 or on email [email protected]

Did you know that over 70% of visits to your GP in this country is through stress related illness? The same statistics applies to hospital admissions.

It is plan and clear, our health as a nation is suffering as a result of stress.

Life is supposed to be getting easier. With all the easy access to various types of technology at our fingers tips and all the technological advancements around us. However, we continue to get more and more ‘stressed’.

Our ancestors lived in constant survival mode. Their stress response would always be deployed as a means to deal with potentially dangerous situations. We rarely face danger in the modern world. No sabre tooth tigers are usually around. Yet we appear to be more stressed then ever.

What impact is stress having on you?

Are you worrying about everything and anything? Is it causing problems in your relationships? Have you lost your relationships? Are bad habits increasing? Is it having financial implications? Is it affecting your sleep? Is it having a negative impact on your heath?

How would you like to get off the cycle of stress for good and become more focussed, relaxed and calm? Would you like to cope with stress and change this mindset forever? How would it feel to actually achieve more through being less stressed? Whether it’s jobs at work, personal goals or a better work life balance.

Would you like to be free from stresses and strains of daily life and to lead a life that is calm, focussed and relaxed? A life that is one of resilience, rather than one where constant stress is constantly getting in the way of abundance and freedom.

Work directly with me, I can help. There is no price you can put on banishing stress and the related symptoms for good.

In three months I will teach you how you can say goodbye to stress. I will show you how you can be resilient and allow any old stresses to be completely eradicated.

Here are the answers to some common questions –

How will I benefit?

In three months, you will change your relationship with ‘stress’. Your work life balance will improve dramatically. Your relationships will be happier. Your health and vitality will improve significantly. You will actually be in more in control, you will be able to make decisions with ease. You will have much more energy and your sleep will improve no end.

What will I learn?

You will learn proven highly effective stress management techniques and strategies to eliminate stress. This will include relaxation techniques that you never dreamt possible. You will develop a super strengthened resilience. You will learn how to not focus on the negative and develop new mindset techniques that you will be able to feed back into your daily living.

You will have a new understanding on your thought processes and how this is linked to emotional management. You will find your approach to daily tasks is much more solution focussed. You will understand the links with a new and improved healthy routine, which will impact on overall lifestyle.

What does the package look like?

You will be signing up to a three month support programme. This will include the following –

• Weekly sessions
• Direct access to Janine in between sessions
• Recordings to listen to in between sessions
• Practical tools to be used out of sessions.

For more information or to arrange your free consultation today, contact Janine via the contact form below.

Janine is the founder of Change for Success. She specialises in working with people to transform their lives. She does this by helping them overcome stress, anxiety and depression. She works with private clients at her consulting rooms in Manchester city centre. She also runs stress management workshops and helps companies and organisations improve their performance by reducing stress in the workplace.

“I owe you my life”!

This is what a client told me this week. She further went on to say, you made such a huge difference and helped me so much in a matter of weeks that I cocktail of meds, Counselling and CBT couldn’t do in years.

How amazing is that! This client came to me having suffered with anxiety and depression for years. She had tried and tried to get help previously, with little or no success.

This is a familiar story I see with clients who come to me.

So why has the work that we have done together been so successful, and in a relatively short space of time, compared to other treatments?

When I first start working with a client, I firstly gain a full understanding of exactly what we need to work with. I quickly discover this is a pattern of behaviour that has often kept the client stuck for years.

What I do, is I firstly explain to the client why we are the way we are, and why unhelpful behaviours might have been keeping us in a familiar pattern of lets say, anxiety, stress or depression.

I provide a sound understanding about how the subconscious part of our mind works. Why? – Because this is the part of the mind that controls who we are (at least 95% of the mind!), and its the part we need to work with if we need to make necessary and lasting change. The operating system if you will. The place where we are comfortably holding onto all our limiting beliefs about ourselves that are keeping us stuck. Often the root of presenting problems that can then debilitate us for many years, if not a lifetime.

Once we let go of these, including the negative self talk, and begin to change this around, transformation then takes place.

Client find themselves free of the old pattern and behaviours. And they learn tools and strategies that transform their lives, from the dark and difficult place they used to be in, to a place of feelings of calm, being in the moment and being totally in control.

Who wouldn’t want a bit of that!

Life is so short. And I often say, life is a decision. We can let these old ways of being control us, and keep us stuck. Or we can chose to change it head on, and learn life changing strategies in the process.

This is why I LOVE what I do.

Janine is the founder of Change for Success. She specialises in working with people to transform their lives. She does this by helping them overcome stress, anxiety and depression. She works with private clients at her consulting rooms in Manchester city centre. She also runs stress management workshops and helps companies and organisations improve their performance by reducing stress in the workplace.

Check out her website for more information and to see what others have said –

www.changeforsuccess.co.uk/testimonials

I have recently reposted a video on social media which I recorded last year where I talk about surviving an abusive marriage and how one word completely changed the direction of my life. This was such a catalyst for me in what was a very difficult and challenging time of my life. But it allowed me to change things for the better and to enable me to move forward and create the life I want and move away from the one that was not serving me in any way.

A few years back I was in a completely different place to where I am now. I was in an abusive marriage and I was also stressed to the hilt in a very stressful job I didn’t enjoy. I worked with high risk offenders. I would typically manage lifers, sex offenders, drug dealers and violent offenders. In addition, I was silently suffering in a marriage. The whole thing put my on a downward spiral to disaster. I found myself at the lowest ebb of my life. So I went to see a therapist.

I had also just walked out of a job I couldn’t handle any more due to the stresses and demands, in addition to an awful marriage. It was 6pm on a Friday night and I had a decision to make. A big one that was to change the direction of my life forever.

As I was about to leave my first session the therapist turned and said to me, “There is one word you’ve said about 20 times today”. I couldn’t think for the life of me what it was, I was racking my brains. He then continued, “You keep saying the word ‘try’.”

He elaborated further – “If you keep saying the word ‘try’ to yourself what does it mean?”. I stared at him blankly, still puzzled. He went on to explain. “If we decided to meet for a coffee tomorrow night at 6pm, then if I said to you, Oh I will try and get there if I can, then what does that say to you? …as opposed to, I will be there for 6pm tomorrow night, I’ll look forward to seeing you then.”

It began to resonant with me what point this wonderful man was attempting to explain. “If we say we are going to try and do something, what does it really mean? It really means we are going to be late at best, or something else more important might come up. Whereas if we say we are going to do something, without the word ‘try’ in there, it is most likely we will follow through with this decision”.

It was as if a lightbulb had gone off in my head.

This point is two-fold. If we are telling ourselves something such as I will ‘try’, then this potentially gives ourselves an excuse to get out of whatever we need to (to keep ourselves safe and to not push us out of our comfort zones). What it also does is allow us to recognise what underlying subconscious patterns are running below the surface that perhaps aren’t serving us any more.

“So what are your plans now?” the therapist enquired as I was about to leave. I had just walked out of a stressful job I no longer wanted to be in, and I had big decisions to make about this marriage I was still stuck in. So I replied, “Well, I’m going to relax over the weekend and not do too much (I was physically, psychologically and emotionally exhausted) and then on Monday i’m going to tr……” as the word try automatically nearly fell out of my mouth! The therapist looked at me. As he did I quickly corrected myself. I then said “On Monday I’m going to….” And that was it there and then. I had agreed to make this decision to make the appropriate choice for me.

This conversation was about to change my life, forever.

I firmly believe if we had not had this conversation, I would have stayed on the old path. I would have returned to the ex, abusive husband, I would have most probably returned to my old job that I didn’t enjoy and was super stressful. It also made me realise I had been saying for many years, I will try and do this and try and do that, thus giving myself a cop-out or an excuse to not do something.

So notice what you say to yourself. Are you making excuses? Are you self-sabotaging? Do you use words that get out of making decisions? Are you stopping yourself from achieving the full success and potential you deserve?

As a direct result of this conversation, I created an opportunity for myself. Two days later I booked a flight. By the end of that week I had started my 3 week exploration around Vietnam as a solo traveller.

I can honestly say, it was one of the most liberating experiences of my life.

I walked right back into my life there and then. And I have never once looked back. I learnt skills, tools and techniques that would shape and change my life forever. It gave me a completely new understanding.

I am now super fortunate to be able to teach this skills and techniques now as part of my job, which I am extremely passionate about. I teach mindset strategies to clients which are absolute game changers and lead to life transformations.

I want to finish by allowing you to consider the following: –

• Notice what you say to yourself. Become aware of the unconscious. Become aware of the habitual patterns and familiar things you say to yourself. It could be ‘try’, it could be something else. Become conscious. It is only then we will start to make changes and explore at a deeper level what we say to ourselves.

• When you explore this further, notice what patterns and subconscious beliefs are underlying this. How are you stopping yourself moving forward to achieve exactly what you want?

• Most people are walking around in what I call the BS – Big Snooze. We are not conscious of our thoughts and feelings. The more we start to get off automatic, the quicker we will notice big changes and shifts.

• Make a firm intention to change the underlying thought patterns. Face challenges. Don’t give yourself an excuse to opt out. Whats the worse that can happen?

• If there are subconscious programmes and beliefs going on underneath, what are you going to do to change it? Mindset shifts can lead to massive changes. Every action is underpinned by a thought!

Please do keep me updated on how you are doing and I look forward to hearing from you!

Janine is the founder of Change for Success. She specialises in working with people to transform their lives. She does this by helping them overcome stress, anxiety and depression. She works with private clients at her consulting rooms in Manchester city centre. She also runs stress management workshops and helps companies and organisations improve their performance by reducing stress in the workplace.

Check out her website for more information and to see what others have said –

www.changeforsuccess.co.uk/testimonials

I caught up with my friend recently. As we chatted about what we had been up to, and he told me he had decided to take himself off all social media. Having had a very large following on Instagram, he decided to remove his account from his phone and restrict his checking in to 15 minutes a week.

This happened around four months ago. It has already changed his life beyond recognition. Before, he may have reported anxiety anywhere from up to 8/10. Since he came off all social media, this has reduced his anxiety right down to a 2/10! How amazing is that in only four months?!

My friend told me before he would be constantly comparing himself to others. Thinking others had a better life than him, or a better standard or quality of life. (Bearing in mind, my friend has one awesome life! – He’s got an amazing family, job and social circle, to name but a few). Whereas now he isn’t doing. He feels this area of his life has changed so much. He finds he cares much less about other people, and their lives, and their possible ‘perfect’ portrayal of them on social media.

He has also found he is more present. He is more in the now, and is less into anxiety, stress or worry.

People can often provide inaccurate portrayals of life on social media. It can then be easy to fall into the thought cycle of ‘my life isn’t so good, others lives are perfect, why can’t I have what they’ve got’. So on and so forth. We often obsess ourselves with other peoples lives and what they are perceived to have, rather than focus on the successes, happinesses and achievements in our own lives. The old adage, ‘Keeping up with the Jones’.

So, how is your current social media usage looking, how does it affect you, what can you do differently, and what difference will it make to your life?

Do you resonate with any of the following anxieties? –

• Other peoples lives look better than mine
• I’ve not got enough ‘likes’
• Other people are having so much more fun than me
• Other people are so much more attractive, better looking then me

You get the picture. What we are doing is comparing ourselves to others, rather than being in the moment and enjoying what our life has to offer. There is also often a very inaccurate portrayal of peoples ‘real’ lives on social media. Any posts will be more likely to focus on amazing parts of peoples lives, rather than the actual reality.

So have a think about how social media is affecting you and what you can do differently. Can you spend less time on there? Can you restrict the times you go on to certain points in the day? Can you have a trial where you go off completely, and see how life looks as a result?

Do let me know how you get on, I’d be really interested to hear the results!

Imagine a life where you felt completely restricted by crippling social anxiety, lacked confidence and had problematic sleep?

Imagine how debilitating life would be as a result? Imagine how many areas of your life it would inhibit, to your disadvantage. Imagine all the things you wouldn’t be able to do and how restricted life would be.

Well these were the difficulties one of my clients faced when they first came to see me.

A client I worked with recently struggled with all of the above. They came to me in a place where they were completely lacking in confidence, they experienced very little in the way of self worth, and their sleep was atrocious.

In the first session, I advised we could work through these issues, in a much easier way than they might think. The client experienced an immediate session of relief, simply knowing that life didn’t need to look like this.

Within a matter of sessions, this client began to notice some great changes. They said that they were sleeping much better and they were able to face challenges much easier. They felt more content in general, and much more in control of old anxieties and troublesome thoughts that had previously been keeping them stuck for a very long time.

My client also reported that they really enjoyed sessions. In particular learning why we do what we do and learning to see things from a new perspective. Also understanding that this behaviour didn’t need to be the same forever and that they could become the person they really wanted to be, and live the life they deserved.

It was so exciting and rewarding to watch my client flourish and grow.

A couple of months went by and my client literally bounced into the session. They had made some huge life changes, to their advantage. Why? Because they now felt the confidence to do so. They had removed all their limiting beliefs that was holding them back. Their confidence and assurance as they were telling me about their new life choices with such enthusiasm and vigour absolutely shone through.

We then reviewed what progress my client had made. They said their sleep was great, their social anxiety was a thing of the past, and their confidence had grown no end.

They discussed how they had enjoyed social events, when in the past, these would have been a thing of dread which they would have avoided at all cost. They also talked me through how they had been really assertive and confident in several situations, when previously they would have avoided these, or gone to mush.

To witness such fantastic progress in such a short space of time is super rewarding. This client didn’t need to go back to their old ways, they could now enjoy a new life they deserved, with a new sense of freedom and direction.

If you’re feeling in the same boat, experiencing the same issues or know someone that is, and wondering if there is a way out, or a new way to be, trust me there is. If you’re thinking of what to do, and whether you can implement the changes, trust me you can.

If you want to know how I can help you, just like how I helped this client, get in touch. It could potentially be the most life changing conversation you have ever had.

Mental health awareness week certainly raised awareness. It got people discussing mental health, and being okay about it. Which I’m very pleased about. But it’s okay to keep talking about this. Great to raise awareness, but it’s okay to talk about these kind of things in general.

There is often a stigma around mental health, but there doesn’t need to be. Why should it not be okay to say if you’re not feeling okay?

We are fed so much information when we are young. And we take it all in, like a sponge. This will then often shape and condition who we are.

Men in particular are told ‘big boys don’t cry’ and ‘you’re not a real man if you show any emotion’, to name but two. Then this becomes part of our belief system. It can quite often form who we are, and be core to what we believe. This however doesn’t need to be the case.

So we often then find it easier, or more safe to not even talk through how we are feeling, or perhaps brush it under the carpet and hope it will go away. Sadly, it will be very rare that will happen. In my experience I have found that this will show itself one way or another. Usually via some form of maladaptive or unhelpful behaviour, which may well feel good in the very short term. However it will never resolve the underlying issue, trigger or symptom.

The mind is a muscle. Sometimes it simply needs a bit of TLC.

If your toilet breaks, you call out a plumber. If you need some building work doing, you hire a builder. If your car breaks down on the motorway, you call the AA or contact a mechanic. If your hair needs cutting, you go to the hairdressers. Want to lose weight, you join a gym, exercise or go on a diet. Any kind of problem we come across in life, we usually like to find the most reliable, prompt and suitable solution.

So why when it comes to the most important part of us, the part of us that keeps us going, that we rely on for all of our thinking, our actions and our behaviours. Something that is fundamentally integral to who we are.

Take stress, its a huge issue in society at present.

Recent research has found a staggering 73% of men and 81% of women in the last year alone reported feelings of being unable to cope and feelings of overwhelm. 84% of 18-24 years olds reported the same, 32% of this age category reported feelings suicidal as a result of feeling so stressed.

I have personal experience of someone who has taken their own life as a result of feelings of utter despair. I have also heard of similar cases in recent weeks through friends. A person who feels so low to a point they don’t know which way to turn, they take their own life. It’s so sad. But it is preventable.

I want you to know there is support out there. If you are reading this and you are struggling, or know someone who, please get in contact if you need pointing in the right direction.

I work with people successfully time and time again. Long term clinical depression, low feelings, high stress and fatigue. Clients always report within a short space of time the difference they feel. I commonly get told that they enjoy sessions and the work we do together. Why? Because I am teaching them a new way of thinking. A new perspective. A new way to look at things. A new way to handle pressures, stresses and old ways of thinking much easier than you might think. Once this old garbage shifts, the changes are immense.

Talk to someone today. Remember it’s okay to not be okay. There is always support. Don’t break down on the motorway and stay stuck in your car forever, call the mechanic and get yourself up and running, and back headed to where you were going.