I have recently reposted a video on social media which I recorded last year where I talk about surviving an abusive marriage and how one word completely changed the direction of my life. This was such a catalyst for me in what was a very difficult and challenging time of my life. But it allowed me to change things for the better and to enable me to move forward and create the life I want and move away from the one that was not serving me in any way.

A few years back I was in a completely different place to where I am now. I was in an abusive marriage and I was also stressed to the hilt in a very stressful job I didn’t enjoy. I worked with high risk offenders. I would typically manage lifers, sex offenders, drug dealers and violent offenders. In addition, I was silently suffering in a marriage. The whole thing put my on a downward spiral to disaster. I found myself at the lowest ebb of my life. So I went to see a therapist.

I had also just walked out of a job I couldn’t handle any more due to the stresses and demands, in addition to an awful marriage. It was 6pm on a Friday night and I had a decision to make. A big one that was to change the direction of my life forever.

As I was about to leave my first session the therapist turned and said to me, “There is one word you’ve said about 20 times today”. I couldn’t think for the life of me what it was, I was racking my brains. He then continued, “You keep saying the word ‘try’.”

He elaborated further – “If you keep saying the word ‘try’ to yourself what does it mean?”. I stared at him blankly, still puzzled. He went on to explain. “If we decided to meet for a coffee tomorrow night at 6pm, then if I said to you, Oh I will try and get there if I can, then what does that say to you? …as opposed to, I will be there for 6pm tomorrow night, I’ll look forward to seeing you then.”

It began to resonant with me what point this wonderful man was attempting to explain. “If we say we are going to try and do something, what does it really mean? It really means we are going to be late at best, or something else more important might come up. Whereas if we say we are going to do something, without the word ‘try’ in there, it is most likely we will follow through with this decision”.

It was as if a lightbulb had gone off in my head.

This point is two-fold. If we are telling ourselves something such as I will ‘try’, then this potentially gives ourselves an excuse to get out of whatever we need to (to keep ourselves safe and to not push us out of our comfort zones). What it also does is allow us to recognise what underlying subconscious patterns are running below the surface that perhaps aren’t serving us any more.

“So what are your plans now?” the therapist enquired as I was about to leave. I had just walked out of a stressful job I no longer wanted to be in, and I had big decisions to make about this marriage I was still stuck in. So I replied, “Well, I’m going to relax over the weekend and not do too much (I was physically, psychologically and emotionally exhausted) and then on Monday i’m going to tr……” as the word try automatically nearly fell out of my mouth! The therapist looked at me. As he did I quickly corrected myself. I then said “On Monday I’m going to….” And that was it there and then. I had agreed to make this decision to make the appropriate choice for me.

This conversation was about to change my life, forever.

I firmly believe if we had not had this conversation, I would have stayed on the old path. I would have returned to the ex, abusive husband, I would have most probably returned to my old job that I didn’t enjoy and was super stressful. It also made me realise I had been saying for many years, I will try and do this and try and do that, thus giving myself a cop-out or an excuse to not do something.

So notice what you say to yourself. Are you making excuses? Are you self-sabotaging? Do you use words that get out of making decisions? Are you stopping yourself from achieving the full success and potential you deserve?

As a direct result of this conversation, I created an opportunity for myself. Two days later I booked a flight. By the end of that week I had started my 3 week exploration around Vietnam as a solo traveller.

I can honestly say, it was one of the most liberating experiences of my life.

I walked right back into my life there and then. And I have never once looked back. I learnt skills, tools and techniques that would shape and change my life forever. It gave me a completely new understanding.

I am now super fortunate to be able to teach this skills and techniques now as part of my job, which I am extremely passionate about. I teach mindset strategies to clients which are absolute game changers and lead to life transformations.

I want to finish by allowing you to consider the following: –

• Notice what you say to yourself. Become aware of the unconscious. Become aware of the habitual patterns and familiar things you say to yourself. It could be ‘try’, it could be something else. Become conscious. It is only then we will start to make changes and explore at a deeper level what we say to ourselves.

• When you explore this further, notice what patterns and subconscious beliefs are underlying this. How are you stopping yourself moving forward to achieve exactly what you want?

• Most people are walking around in what I call the BS – Big Snooze. We are not conscious of our thoughts and feelings. The more we start to get off automatic, the quicker we will notice big changes and shifts.

• Make a firm intention to change the underlying thought patterns. Face challenges. Don’t give yourself an excuse to opt out. Whats the worse that can happen?

• If there are subconscious programmes and beliefs going on underneath, what are you going to do to change it? Mindset shifts can lead to massive changes. Every action is underpinned by a thought!

Please do keep me updated on how you are doing and I look forward to hearing from you!

Janine is the founder of Change for Success. She specialises in working with people to transform their lives. She does this by helping them overcome stress, anxiety and depression. She works with private clients at her consulting rooms in Manchester city centre. She also runs stress management workshops and helps companies and organisations improve their performance by reducing stress in the workplace.

Check out her website for more information and to see what others have said –

www.changeforsuccess.co.uk/testimonials

I caught up with my friend recently. As we chatted about what we had been up to, and he told me he had decided to take himself off all social media. Having had a very large following on Instagram, he decided to remove his account from his phone and restrict his checking in to 15 minutes a week.

This happened around four months ago. It has already changed his life beyond recognition. Before, he may have reported anxiety anywhere from up to 8/10. Since he came off all social media, this has reduced his anxiety right down to a 2/10! How amazing is that in only four months?!

My friend told me before he would be constantly comparing himself to others. Thinking others had a better life than him, or a better standard or quality of life. (Bearing in mind, my friend has one awesome life! – He’s got an amazing family, job and social circle, to name but a few). Whereas now he isn’t doing. He feels this area of his life has changed so much. He finds he cares much less about other people, and their lives, and their possible ‘perfect’ portrayal of them on social media.

He has also found he is more present. He is more in the now, and is less into anxiety, stress or worry.

People can often provide inaccurate portrayals of life on social media. It can then be easy to fall into the thought cycle of ‘my life isn’t so good, others lives are perfect, why can’t I have what they’ve got’. So on and so forth. We often obsess ourselves with other peoples lives and what they are perceived to have, rather than focus on the successes, happinesses and achievements in our own lives. The old adage, ‘Keeping up with the Jones’.

So, how is your current social media usage looking, how does it affect you, what can you do differently, and what difference will it make to your life?

Do you resonate with any of the following anxieties? –

• Other peoples lives look better than mine
• I’ve not got enough ‘likes’
• Other people are having so much more fun than me
• Other people are so much more attractive, better looking then me

You get the picture. What we are doing is comparing ourselves to others, rather than being in the moment and enjoying what our life has to offer. There is also often a very inaccurate portrayal of peoples ‘real’ lives on social media. Any posts will be more likely to focus on amazing parts of peoples lives, rather than the actual reality.

So have a think about how social media is affecting you and what you can do differently. Can you spend less time on there? Can you restrict the times you go on to certain points in the day? Can you have a trial where you go off completely, and see how life looks as a result?

Do let me know how you get on, I’d be really interested to hear the results!

Imagine a life where you felt completely restricted by crippling social anxiety, lacked confidence and had problematic sleep?

Imagine how debilitating life would be as a result? Imagine how many areas of your life it would inhibit, to your disadvantage. Imagine all the things you wouldn’t be able to do and how restricted life would be.

Well these were the difficulties one of my clients faced when they first came to see me.

A client I worked with recently struggled with all of the above. They came to me in a place where they were completely lacking in confidence, they experienced very little in the way of self worth, and their sleep was atrocious.

In the first session, I advised we could work through these issues, in a much easier way than they might think. The client experienced an immediate session of relief, simply knowing that life didn’t need to look like this.

Within a matter of sessions, this client began to notice some great changes. They said that they were sleeping much better and they were able to face challenges much easier. They felt more content in general, and much more in control of old anxieties and troublesome thoughts that had previously been keeping them stuck for a very long time.

My client also reported that they really enjoyed sessions. In particular learning why we do what we do and learning to see things from a new perspective. Also understanding that this behaviour didn’t need to be the same forever and that they could become the person they really wanted to be, and live the life they deserved.

It was so exciting and rewarding to watch my client flourish and grow.

A couple of months went by and my client literally bounced into the session. They had made some huge life changes, to their advantage. Why? Because they now felt the confidence to do so. They had removed all their limiting beliefs that was holding them back. Their confidence and assurance as they were telling me about their new life choices with such enthusiasm and vigour absolutely shone through.

We then reviewed what progress my client had made. They said their sleep was great, their social anxiety was a thing of the past, and their confidence had grown no end.

They discussed how they had enjoyed social events, when in the past, these would have been a thing of dread which they would have avoided at all cost. They also talked me through how they had been really assertive and confident in several situations, when previously they would have avoided these, or gone to mush.

To witness such fantastic progress in such a short space of time is super rewarding. This client didn’t need to go back to their old ways, they could now enjoy a new life they deserved, with a new sense of freedom and direction.

If you’re feeling in the same boat, experiencing the same issues or know someone that is, and wondering if there is a way out, or a new way to be, trust me there is. If you’re thinking of what to do, and whether you can implement the changes, trust me you can.

If you want to know how I can help you, just like how I helped this client, get in touch. It could potentially be the most life changing conversation you have ever had.

Mental health awareness week certainly raised awareness. It got people discussing mental health, and being okay about it. Which I’m very pleased about. But it’s okay to keep talking about this. Great to raise awareness, but it’s okay to talk about these kind of things in general.

There is often a stigma around mental health, but there doesn’t need to be. Why should it not be okay to say if you’re not feeling okay?

We are fed so much information when we are young. And we take it all in, like a sponge. This will then often shape and condition who we are.

Men in particular are told ‘big boys don’t cry’ and ‘you’re not a real man if you show any emotion’, to name but two. Then this becomes part of our belief system. It can quite often form who we are, and be core to what we believe. This however doesn’t need to be the case.

So we often then find it easier, or more safe to not even talk through how we are feeling, or perhaps brush it under the carpet and hope it will go away. Sadly, it will be very rare that will happen. In my experience I have found that this will show itself one way or another. Usually via some form of maladaptive or unhelpful behaviour, which may well feel good in the very short term. However it will never resolve the underlying issue, trigger or symptom.

The mind is a muscle. Sometimes it simply needs a bit of TLC.

If your toilet breaks, you call out a plumber. If you need some building work doing, you hire a builder. If your car breaks down on the motorway, you call the AA or contact a mechanic. If your hair needs cutting, you go to the hairdressers. Want to lose weight, you join a gym, exercise or go on a diet. Any kind of problem we come across in life, we usually like to find the most reliable, prompt and suitable solution.

So why when it comes to the most important part of us, the part of us that keeps us going, that we rely on for all of our thinking, our actions and our behaviours. Something that is fundamentally integral to who we are.

Take stress, its a huge issue in society at present.

Recent research has found a staggering 73% of men and 81% of women in the last year alone reported feelings of being unable to cope and feelings of overwhelm. 84% of 18-24 years olds reported the same, 32% of this age category reported feelings suicidal as a result of feeling so stressed.

I have personal experience of someone who has taken their own life as a result of feelings of utter despair. I have also heard of similar cases in recent weeks through friends. A person who feels so low to a point they don’t know which way to turn, they take their own life. It’s so sad. But it is preventable.

I want you to know there is support out there. If you are reading this and you are struggling, or know someone who, please get in contact if you need pointing in the right direction.

I work with people successfully time and time again. Long term clinical depression, low feelings, high stress and fatigue. Clients always report within a short space of time the difference they feel. I commonly get told that they enjoy sessions and the work we do together. Why? Because I am teaching them a new way of thinking. A new perspective. A new way to look at things. A new way to handle pressures, stresses and old ways of thinking much easier than you might think. Once this old garbage shifts, the changes are immense.

Talk to someone today. Remember it’s okay to not be okay. There is always support. Don’t break down on the motorway and stay stuck in your car forever, call the mechanic and get yourself up and running, and back headed to where you were going.

I attended an event in Manchester yesterday at UK Fast. The topic was all about wellbeing and mental health, and also how this is managed in the workplace.

There were a wealth of speakers including an extremely successful multi-million pound business owner who was brave enough to speak about something he had never talked to anyone about for over 30 years. The other speakers, who were all entrepreneurs discussed various types of mental health issues, and all talked about their own personal experiences. These are all successful people, who at some point in their lives have suffered some type of mental health issue.

There were two common themes of the event.

1) It’s okay to not be okay.

2) It’s okay to actually talk about this stuff.

There should be no stigma any more. Our mental wellbeing and mindset should be looked after as much as, if not more than our physical health. Our brain is a muscle and it needs to be taken care of.

Having difficulty with some kind of mental health issue is completely okay. And it’s okay to be open about it. It won’t only be you suffering, there are many out there going though exactly the same experience.

Are you or someone you know struggling due to mental health issues as a result of either a traumatic life experience? Suffering with anxiety, panic attacks, depression, or any other trauma? It’s okay to talk. There is help and support available. There should be no stigma around this any more. Talk to someone you know, or a professional.

If you are unsure what to say, talk to someone about how you are feeling and perhaps what effect this is having on your life. Please don’t hesitate to get in contact for more information or to talk about how I can help you, today, and much quicker than you might think too.

I use practical tools and techniques in a non judgmental environment. The setting within which I work is both relaxed and informal.

Trust me, you don’t need to suffer anymore. 

What are your thoughts on visualisation? You might have simply heard of it and thought its just a load of old codswallop.

You may have wondered what it is, and wondered how it may be able to help you. You might have had a go and thought it didn’t work. You could have tried and had amazing success. Or perhaps this has been something that you have been taught as part of your job role, or you have learned on a personal level – and experienced great results.

I am going to tell you more about visualisation, what it is, why it is so powerful, and how it can help you, in the most incredible way. I will also provide some ideas and top tips to help you along your way.

Firstly, what is visualisation? It is the art of creating a compelling image in your mind of what it is you wish to achieve. In my view, it is by far, one of the most under-utilised tools we have at our immediate disposal.

Your subconscious mind, which controls the most part of your powerful resource doesn’t actually know the difference between reality and imagination. So your brain see’s nothing different between doing something and visualising it.

There has been much research conducted around this, whereby control groups and experiment groups are asked to repeat a task, so learn something over a period of time, such as playing a piano. One group was told to actually rehearse the task. The other group was told simply to imagine, or visualise rehearsing the task. When both samples were tested, there was actually no difference between the performance of the group who actually practiced the routine compared to the group that simply visualised the task. Amazing hey! That is just one example, there are several more.

Did you know that sports psychologists and peak performance experts have actually been practicing visualisation techniques since the 1980’s? So this concept isn’t some new, or ’woo woo’, as you may initially be thinking.

So if peak performance experts and olympic sports performer practice the art of visualisation to achieve their supercharged goals, why can’t you?

Clients will usually come to me because there is something they want to change. It is with frustration and bemusement, that they can’t change what they need to. Like yesterday. We all want immediate and quick wins don’t we. So why is this the case, why can’t we change something quickly? Firstly, we have been thinking this way for a long time. Secondly, because we often focus on what we don’t want, or what we don’t have, rather than what we actually desire or wish to change. The mind is often in lack. Then guess what? – We will attract more of what we don’t actually want. We actually create mental rehearsal images as we do so, thus repeating the same behaviour.

Lets then turn this around. Lets visualise and imagine what we want, rather than what we don’t want.

If you would like to start visualising to achieve success in your life, here are some tips and ideas to get you started.

• Visualising is actually really simple. It takes no effort whatsoever. You simply need to relax, close your eyes. And show up. Ideally every day.
• Have a think what is it you actually want. Don’t be fluffy and go around the houses. Be specific and have firm intention and focus.
• Spend five minutes every single day just after you wake up, closing your eyes and visualising what it is you want. Make the images dramatic, bold and detailed. Imagine yourself being exactly where you want to be. If for example it is being in your dream house, imagine walking though every room in the house and using all your senses to be there. Imagine the sight, sounds, and the feeling as you walk round. Really be in that scene.
• Fill any images you focus on with real emotion. And imagine you are there right now. Not in the future, or anywhere else. You are there and you have achieved this fantastic life for yourself, whatever that may look like.

A quick caveat. Clients will often say to me that they can’t visualise very well, or that they can’t actually see anything. No problem at all, it simply means you are either not used to it, or you are more of a feeling person like me. If that is the case, once again close your eyes, and really imagine the feeling of the event or the scene you wish to create. Also remember that the subconscious mind thinks in pictures. So if I said to you, whatever you do, don’t think of purple elephant wearing giant poker dot wellies. …. You get the picture. See what I did there!

I want to leave with this. It works!! I use visualisation in my life, in order to create the life I want as part of my daily routine. And all those experts are using it to their advantage, so they can achieve their desired goals and successes. So what are you waiting for? Go for it! – I’m looking forward to hearing how you have been getting on.

Janine teaches visualisation strategies to her clients as part of her work as a specialist in her field. And she see’s amazing results, time and time again. Clients are taught powerful techniques that literally change their lives overnight, and they don’t look back.

Janine works with organisations and corporate clients. She also has a private practice where she see’s clients on an individual basis. She utilises bespoke programmes to work with you in helping you achieve your desired goals and outcomes. Please contact her direct for more information – [email protected] 

I want to share with you a story about a client I had been working with for a couple of months.

When this client first came to see me, he had difficulties with the following – anxiety in social situations, a lack of confidence and he was suffering with poor sleep.

My client was initially unsure of what sessions would look like in terms of helping him move forward. However, he knew what his goal was – to be free of all these issues, to enable his life to be fulfilled and stress free.

We spent time in session whereby I taught my client simple practical tools and techniques to begin to change his life around. I also taught him about mindset strategies and allowed him to understand, if we have created these old programmes, we can uncreate them. Easily and successfully.

My client bounced into session last week. He was is not the same person who walked into my therapy room at his first session. At the start of last weeks session we reviewed my clients goals in order to see where he was up to.

I asked him how his sleep was doing. He told me he had gone from very poor and broken sleep, whereby he would often be awake in the middle of the night, to a sound nights sleep. And guess what! He was feeling so much better as a result – he now had so much energy in the day time, which was fantastic!

We then discussed social anxiety and his confidence. With enthusiasm and excitement, my client was able to talk through a range of situations whereby both social anxiety and poor confidence were a thing of the past. Additionally, he has made some huge and very positive life changes as a result. As he described the situations in which he has dealt with in a self assured, and confident way, I quietly listened, bursting with a real sense of pride. This was not the same person that had come to see me a couple of months earlier.

We talked through this further, and my client agreed. He said he felt confident, self assured and happy within himself. He was so pleased with the impact this was now having on his life, and where he was now headed. He stated even his close friend had noticed huge changes, and also wanted to talk to me about booking in for sessions as he was witnessing first hand the impact our work was having with his friend!

I would like to add, it is my client who has made the change. He has worked with the tools that I have given him, both in and out of session, and he has applied them to his life. And look at the wonderful rewards he is reaping as a result. I am so happy for him, and super proud.

Sessions with clients are relaxed and informal. Not only do I teach my clients powerful yet simple practical tools and techniques to help them achieve their goals, but I also teach the theory behind why we do what we do. Why? To enable clients to raise their awareness and understanding, which is key to this type of work. In fact, during one of the sessions, my client stated, they should teach this stuff in schools (which I totally agree – more about that in another blog).

Hoorah and a massive well done to my client!

Is there something similar in your life that is holding you back? And what is it costing you? What would your life look like without it? You can’t put a value on achieving such big life changes. Feel free to get in touch for an informal chat, or to arrange a free consultation to find out how I can help you.

Janine has a private practice where she see’s clients on an individual basis. She also works with organisations and corporate clients. She utilises bespoke programmes to work with you in helping you achieve your desired goals and outcomes.

Please contact her direct for more information – [email protected], or via her website – www.changeforsuccess.co.uk

So how are you feeling right now? Are you feeling enthused, excited, raring to go? Looking forward to the day ahead with passion and vigour? Or are you feeling those familiar patterns? Maybe thoughts of, oh I’m too tired, I can’t be bothered, its raining again, I’m worried about x,y,z.

Or do you find perhaps mindless worries have been bothering you in general, waking up in the middle of the night perhaps? Be honest now, are there familiar patterns of thought and ways of being you are fed up with?

It is super duper important what we say to ourselves, and noticing this is key. Our inner world (thoughts, feelings, beliefs etc) is a direct representation of our outer world and our own perception of the outer world we live in (environment; anything outside of us). If we keep living in the negativity, guess whats going to happen? – we are magnetic fields (this is what all the modern neuroscientists are saying), we will literally attract what we put out.

We think on average 60,000 thoughts a day. Yes, 60,000 per day!!! Most of these are negative and the majority are from the day before. I certainly cant remember all my 60,000 thoughts from yesterday, can you? Most of them are unconscious. A programme from the past.

This is the advise I want to give you.

Be more mindful of your thoughts. Don’t let them go unconscious, don’t let them go unnoticed. Be aware of them. Take some time to notice what are the familiar and usual ones. I want you to spend little time on you. You can find five minutes a day! Write down what your most common ones are, do a bit of digging.

Then I want you to flip these around. So thoughts of “I am tired all the time” turn to “I am energised”. Thoughts of “I worry about everything” turns to “I am fulfilled”. I want you to then spend time focussing on these thoughts. Let them be your new mantra’s. Let them become part of you. Say them often. Hundreds of times if need be. Either in your head or out loud. It might feel funny at first, uncomfortable even. But go with it. Don’t judge it, just embody it. The more you do this, the more you will notice big shifts. And remember, the mind cannot think two thoughts at once, its physically impossible. This can be a new habit and practice, to create the life you want.

Have fun and keep me posted, remember personal development is the key to success!

If you would like to know any more about how you can make dramatic changes (from the inside) in order to live the life you actually want, please contact me to find out how I can help you.

Janine works with organisations and corporate clients. She also has a private practice where she see’s clients on an individual basis. She utilises bespoke programmes to work with you in helping you achieve your desired goals and outcomes. Please contact her direct for more information.

So last week, I had a wobble. A couple of things happened, which shall we say, took me off kilter. I won’t go into the in’s and outs, but I didn’t feel too great for a day or two.

Should you find yourself in a similar position, either now and again, or more often than you would like, I want to help you in moving forward.

Firstly, should I have been feeling that way? The answer is yes. We feel and experience certain emotions throughout the course of a day. Sometimes they are good, sometimes not so good. When we are not feeling so great, we can made a decision to search for whatever coping strategy we think might work for us. We can search for a negative one, or a positive one. The negative one (usually just a short term ‘fix) might be to reach for a ton of alcohol, sugar, drugs or whatever else we might use as a coping strategy that we are familiar with.

Secondly, it is okay to understand and acknowledge that you are feeling a certain way for a reason. Actually accepting how we feel can be so much more empowering then attempting to hide or bury it in any way (which is often what we prefer to do) Why? – because we often don’t like to acknowledge when we are actually feeling pretty crap one way or another. We would rather not look at or address what’s going on, and instead use one of the poor coping mechanisms as identified above, or a trillion other ones I haven’t listed.

So what can you do differently? You can use an option available to you that will support you and allow you to move forward.

For me, it was have a chat with two people. Not just any old people. But people who are in my ‘tribe’. People I know who I can count on, to talk through matters and who will help me identify and work through the best course of action. Those who I know have got my back and accept me, support me and have 100% belief in me. In addition, they don’t judge me in any way and I can be my authentic self.

I can’t reiterate enough that it is so important to speak to someone.

Don’t bottle things up.

Don’t hope that they will go away.

Don’t see it as a weakness to talk to someone. It is actually okay. It will help you to move forward, and it will allow you to feel a ton lighter in the process. Many of us at a young age were given messages that it shows some sign of weakness to admit there is something you want support with, or to talk to others about this. In my view, it is far from a weakness, it is actually a strength! I can’t reiterate and bang on about this point enough.

In the process, don’t be afraid to let go of those people in your life that don’t show a genuine and authentic interest in you, for whatever reason. It’s okay to ditch the deadwood and focus on the ones who are there for you. These don’t necessarily need to be lifelong friends. They could be people you have known for a short while, or those who you network or do business/ work with. You will know deep down who the right ones are, learn to trust your intuition.

Most of all, be you. There is only one of you, everyone else is taken. It is okay to have a wobble. It’s how you manage it that is the important part.

I will review key pointers.

Moving forward –

• Work out who your tribe is. Thos who support and believe in you. Remove those who don’t. Life is too short, surround yourself with the right people for you.

• Talk to someone, its okay. It’s better than bottling it up, and they will provide some advise, support and guidance.
• Avoid the poor coping strategies and work out what your positive ways forward are instead.
• Acknowledge and accept that its okay to feel the way you do. It will pass, and you will work out a solution to a bigger and better outcome.
• Take some time out. Go for a walk, meet a friend for a coffee. Switch off, do something that relaxes you and takes your mind off things.

Until next time, stay being awesome, there is only one you after all.

Janine works with organisations and corporate clients. She also has a private practice where she see’s clients on an individual basis. She utilises bespoke programmes to work with you in helping you achieve your desired goals and outcomes.

Please contact her direct for more information – [email protected]

Hello! So yesterday was supposed to be the most miserable day of the year?

I don’t want to focus on this anymore, I want to focus on how this is the start of a new year, the start of a new chapter, the start of a new focus, goal or success. The start of feeling good for no reason.

In this article, I will touch on why we think the way we do and write about how we can start making subtle changes which will ultimately lead to big shifts. I will also provide you with three top practical tips that you can use straight away.

Unfortunately we have a tendency to focus on the negatives, as this is often innate within us. It’s easier to do so, and what better time to do it, right after the festivities, on the most dark days of the year when the weather is grey and dismal.

Even though negative thoughts are like velcro and positive thoughts are like teflon, it doesn’t have to be like this.

I want you to start focussing on what you want, rather than what you don’t want. We find it easier to focus on the lack, rather than what we actually desire, a common example if worrying about having no money, or being concerned about how we are going to pay the bills – guess what you are focusing on…will it go away when you do so, or will you attract more of the same? Unfortunately, it is easier to focus on the negative. With new ways of thinking however, we can actually begin to retrain the brain to think in different ways.

Why do we do this in the first place?

We are a nation wired to feed off negativity, we secretly love it. Turn on the news, it’s negative, open the newspaper, it’s negative, drive past a big crash on the motorway, everyone slows down to fully rubber neck and have a good look *sigh*

Our ancient ancestors were in survival mode 24/7. They were continually living by the hormones of stress. Today we are no longer generally in imminent danger, however too many of us continue to live by the hormones of stress by thinking and feeling in a certain way that keeps us stuck. So when we have a negative thought, this will release a chemical in the brain, e.g. adrenaline or cortisol. Of course, we all need some stress which can be positive and helpful. However if we are constantly living by the hormones of stress, we are literally living in emergency mode the entire time.

Do you think this is good for our bodies? It sure isn’t and what happens as a result? A number of things.

Often people will only meet absolute breaking point before they secure any type of help. Their back is against the wall, so to speak.

For example, experience a stroke, heart attack, stress related illness. By then it can often be too late, leaving the person thinking, why did I not do something sooner? I often say to clients, how much water can a sponge hold before it all comes dripping out?

It is actually easier to sort something out, before it becomes too late. We have to give ourselves a break, and work out what is more important in life.

To finish, I am going to provide three practical tips which will help you shift your focus and get you off automatic, a way you have potentially thought for a long time.

1. Practice new breathing habits. Most of us don’t breath properly most of the time, leaving our body’s starved of essential and much needed oxygen. Regular breathing exercises also allows us to slow down, be in the now and get off automatic, our patterns of the past. I want you to focus on your breathing every hour throughout the day. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in for the count of 4. Then hold this for 4, then breath out for 5. I want you to repeat this five times. You will feel automatically calmer and much more focussed and more refreshed when you have finished.
2. Take more time for you in the working day – 30/70. I want you to practice some self care during your working day. Instead of shovelling lunch down at your desk, go for a walk. The former will NOT make you more productive, trust me. Avoid coffee and sugary drinks and drink plenty of water. Take a break, chat to others, get some fresh air. Focus on a 30/70 balance rather than letting work completely consume you.
3. Perform a random act of kindness. Do something kind today that will benefit someone else. Make two sandwiches and give one to a homeless person, send an anonymous gift to a friend, give someone a genuine compliment*

*In a recent study which explored the effects of being kind whereby participants were asked to do one kind thing a day, there wellbeing levels were then measured. The results found that people performing random acts of kindness for a week felt less angry, laughed more and felt more energised.

If you are struggling on your own, and need support and guidance now, I can help much quicker than you might think. I am happy to have a chat or you can easily book in to see me by dropping me a message.

Good luck with all the above, and let me know how you get on.

Janine