I’ve just returned from a visit to the dentist. Even the word ‘dentist’ put’s the fear of god into many people. But really what is fear and how does it affect us?
I can’t think of many people having the thought of a needle being shoved in their mouth with delight or excitement. Thats what I faced today. What we tend to do is get ourselves into a near on blind panic. Oh how much is this going to hurt? How big is the needle? Even if my mouth is numb, will I still feel all the pain before, during or after? Its going to be awful. Its going to hurt like mad. What am I actually doing here, do I really need the dentists help? Is there anyway I can quickly exit this situation? You get the picture. We have the tendency to catastrophe in our head, even before an event has taken place.
Do you know why we do this? It is likely in the past there is an event whereby a needle is linked to some kind of pain or a negative situation combined with a negative emotion. So we automatically bring our past into our now. That is how fear comes into play. The whole thing gets played in our minds. We have a tendency to view a future situation based on a past event.
What was to actually happen today was this. The dentist put a numbing gel in my mouth. The needle went in and I didn’t feel a thing. No pain, nothing. Then all the work was completed. Lots of noises and messing around in my mouth and still no pain. I did not bat an eyelid throughout the entire thing, sitting there calm and relaxed. I left the dentist having experienced no pan whatsoever. It wasn’t anything like what I imagined or feared.
We can liken this example to many others. Being anxious about doing something new for the first time and it actually turned out to be okay. Delivering a talk to others and it actually being okay. Getting completely out of the comfort zone in a social situation and it actually being okay. In fact finding that those things you were most dreading you actually turned out to enjoy! But think how much energy you expended on it in the process.
This is something I like to tell my clients when it comes to fear and worry. Worry, is exactly the same as fear. They are both one in the same. This is how I describe worry. You turn up to work on a Monday morning. You need to find some paperwork, so you go to your filling cabinet. When you open your filing cabinet in search of said paperwork and there is nothing in there. Nothing whatsoever. That is my definition of worry.
What to do if you find yourself in a ‘worry’ or ‘fear-based’ situation? Here are some practical tips –
- What will it matter in 6 months time? Think about that big ‘worry’ you had six months ago, can you even still remember it?
- Breathe. Take a nice deep breath in and let go. Stop over-analysing.
- Notice any past events where you were possibly petrified. How did it actually go? Better than expected? Did you survive and are you still alive? Apply previous learning to new.
- Enjoy the learning of new experiences. Learn from your mistakes. Fear of failure is a big one. Learn from that and understand there are no mistakes in life, only lessons.
- Don’t beat yourself up! It will often take some time to get those pesky fears and anxieties out the way. They don’t need to be there though! This can be done by practice, getting back up, or by practicing mindset techniques that will get you right in the zone. Does a baby stop trying at the first failed fall and never decide to get back up again and again and walk? Of course not.
If there is anything you are fearing, you don’t need to. Common fears can be removed much easier and quicker than you might think.
If you want to know how Janine can help you, she can be booked for private sessions or as a group booking for mindset strategies that will transform your life. Janine can be contacted on the form below.
Until next time!
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