BY: Janine Mitchell
Change consultant / Support and advice
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So last week, I had a wobble. A couple of things happened, which shall we say, took me off kilter. I won’t go into the in’s and outs, but I didn’t feel too great for a day or two.
Should you find yourself in a similar position, either now and again, or more often than you would like, I want to help you in moving forward.
Firstly, should I have been feeling that way? The answer is yes. We feel and experience certain emotions throughout the course of a day. Sometimes they are good, sometimes not so good. When we are not feeling so great, we can made a decision to search for whatever coping strategy we think might work for us. We can search for a negative one, or a positive one. The negative one (usually just a short term ‘fix) might be to reach for a ton of alcohol, sugar, drugs or whatever else we might use as a coping strategy that we are familiar with.
Secondly, it is okay to understand and acknowledge that you are feeling a certain way for a reason. Actually accepting how we feel can be so much more empowering then attempting to hide or bury it in any way (which is often what we prefer to do) Why? – because we often don’t like to acknowledge when we are actually feeling pretty crap one way or another. We would rather not look at or address what’s going on, and instead use one of the poor coping mechanisms as identified above, or a trillion other ones I haven’t listed.
So what can you do differently? You can use an option available to you that will support you and allow you to move forward.
For me, it was have a chat with two people. Not just any old people. But people who are in my ‘tribe’. People I know who I can count on, to talk through matters and who will help me identify and work through the best course of action. Those who I know have got my back and accept me, support me and have 100% belief in me. In addition, they don’t judge me in any way and I can be my authentic self.
I can’t reiterate enough that it is so important to speak to someone.
Don’t bottle things up.
Don’t hope that they will go away.
Don’t see it as a weakness to talk to someone. It is actually okay. It will help you to move forward, and it will allow you to feel a ton lighter in the process. Many of us at a young age were given messages that it shows some sign of weakness to admit there is something you want support with, or to talk to others about this. In my view, it is far from a weakness, it is actually a strength! I can’t reiterate and bang on about this point enough.
In the process, don’t be afraid to let go of those people in your life that don’t show a genuine and authentic interest in you, for whatever reason. It’s okay to ditch the deadwood and focus on the ones who are there for you. These don’t necessarily need to be lifelong friends. They could be people you have known for a short while, or those who you network or do business/ work with. You will know deep down who the right ones are, learn to trust your intuition.
Most of all, be you. There is only one of you, everyone else is taken. It is okay to have a wobble. It’s how you manage it that is the important part.
I will review key pointers.
Moving forward –
- Work out who your tribe is. Thos who support and believe in you. Remove those who don’t. Life is too short, surround yourself with the right people for you.
- Talk to someone, its okay. It’s better than bottling it up, and they will provide some advise, support and guidance.
- Avoid the poor coping strategies and work out what your positive ways forward are instead.
- Acknowledge and accept that its okay to feel the way you do. It will pass, and you will work out a solution to a bigger and better outcome.
- Take some time out. Go for a walk, meet a friend for a coffee. Switch off, do something that relaxes you and takes your mind off things.