BY: Janine Mitchell
Change consultant / Changing mindset
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Hello! So yesterday was supposed to be the most miserable day of the year?
I don’t want to focus on this anymore, I want to focus on how this is the start of a new year, the start of a new chapter, the start of a new focus, goal or success. The start of feeling good for no reason.
In this article, I will touch on why we think the way we do and write about how we can start making subtle changes which will ultimately lead to big shifts. I will also provide you with three top practical tips that you can use straight away.
Unfortunately we have a tendency to focus on the negatives, as this is often innate within us. It’s easier to do so, and what better time to do it, right after the festivities, on the most dark days of the year when the weather is grey and dismal.
Even though negative thoughts are like velcro and positive thoughts are like teflon, it doesn’t have to be like this.
I want you to start focussing on what you want, rather than what you don’t want. We find it easier to focus on the lack, rather than what we actually desire, a common example if worrying about having no money, or being concerned about how we are going to pay the bills – guess what you are focusing on…will it go away when you do so, or will you attract more of the same? Unfortunately, it is easier to focus on the negative. With new ways of thinking however, we can actually begin to retrain the brain to think in different ways.
Why do we do this in the first place?
We are a nation wired to feed off negativity, we secretly love it. Turn on the news, it’s negative, open the newspaper, it’s negative, drive past a big crash on the motorway, everyone slows down to fully rubber neck and have a good look *sigh*
Our ancient ancestors were in survival mode 24/7. They were continually living by the hormones of stress. Today we are no longer generally in imminent danger, however too many of us continue to live by the hormones of stress by thinking and feeling in a certain way that keeps us stuck. So when we have a negative thought, this will release a chemical in the brain, e.g. adrenaline or cortisol. Of course, we all need some stress which can be positive and helpful. However if we are constantly living by the hormones of stress, we are literally living in emergency mode the entire time.
Do you think this is good for our bodies? It sure isn’t and what happens as a result? A number of things.
Often people will only meet absolute breaking point before they secure any type of help. Their back is against the wall, so to speak.
For example, experience a stroke, heart attack, stress related illness. By then it can often be too late, leaving the person thinking, why did I not do something sooner? I often say to clients, how much water can a sponge hold before it all comes dripping out?
It is actually easier to sort something out, before it becomes too late. We have to give ourselves a break, and work out what is more important in life.
To finish, I am going to provide three practical tips which will help you shift your focus and get you off automatic, a way you have potentially thought for a long time.
- Practice new breathing habits. Most of us don’t breath properly most of the time, leaving our body’s starved of essential and much needed oxygen. Regular breathing exercises also allows us to slow down, be in the now and get off automatic, our patterns of the past. I want you to focus on your breathing every hour throughout the day. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in for the count of 4. Then hold this for 4, then breath out for 5. I want you to repeat this five times. You will feel automatically calmer and much more focussed and more refreshed when you have finished.
- Take more time for you in the working day – 30/70. I want you to practice some self care during your working day. Instead of shovelling lunch down at your desk, go for a walk. The former will NOT make you more productive, trust me. Avoid coffee and sugary drinks and drink plenty of water. Take a break, chat to others, get some fresh air. Focus on a 30/70 balance rather than letting work completely consume you.
- Perform a random act of kindness. Do something kind today that will benefit someone else. Make two sandwiches and give one to a homeless person, send an anonymous gift to a friend, give someone a genuine compliment*
*In a recent study which explored the effects of being kind whereby participants were asked to do one kind thing a day, there wellbeing levels were then measured. The results found that people performing random acts of kindness for a week felt less angry, laughed more and felt more energised.
If you are struggling on your own, and need support and guidance now, I can help much quicker than you might think. I am happy to have a chat or you can easily book in to see me by dropping me a message.
Good luck with all the above, and let me know how you get on!
BY: Janine Mitchell
Change consultant / Changing habits / Changing mindset
Comments: No Comments
Yesterday I introduced you to affirmations and how we are affirming things in our life over and over that are keeping us stuck (every thought we have, good or bad is an affirmation).
Our internal reality creates are external reality.
Let me explain further. Our thought process are a complete reflection of the lives that we are creating for ourselves. We are literally manifesting where we are in our lives moment to moment.
Lets look at how we can change this. We can do so by choosing to affirm what we wish or desire.
I want to teach you how to create the life you want by using affirmations.
Affirmations should have the following three P’s –
So, affirmations need to be in the now, they need to be positive, and persistence is the key. If you have a go at this stuff and give up after a few hours or days and think, ‘jees, this isn’t working, I’m going to give up’, then please persevere! Remember, we have continually been thinking the old, familiar stuff for years.
What we are doing with affirmations is we are reprogramming the subconscious, we are instructing our minds to think in different ways.
It takes a minimum of 30 days to create a new habit. Keep going!
There are a couple of other things I want to share with you before I give you an exercise of how to use affirmations.
Affirmations need to be in the now. Not in the future or in the past. As if they are happening now. They also need to be framed as a positive. Don’t put any negative words in there. The subconscious will only hold onto, or recognise the negative, and thats the thing that will persist.
When you start off, it will very possibly feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Most likely of all, you won’t believe it. This is the good news. You don’t have to believe it at first. Simply keep going.
Here are some examples of affirmations for confidence –
- I am confident
- I am a naturally confident person
- I am confident socially and enjoy meeting new people
- I am confident at all times, and in all areas of my life.
If you are unsure where to start, there is a wealth of information on the web about what affirmations are, and what to say.
Louise Hay is the creator/ godmother of this stuff. Great content can be found via her website –
What is it you want in your life? What are you missing? What area of your life do you dramatically want to improve?
Write down a couple of affirmations (these need to be short and to the point, they don’t need to go on and on, a sentence will do)
Repeat your affirmations for five minutes first thing in the morning and for five minutes last thing at night. Put them on post it notes in various places. Your bedside cabinet, a mirror, in your car.
In addition to this, you can repeat your affirmations anywhere during ‘dead’ time as well. For example, while driving, brushing your teeth, walking the dog, doing the washing up, in the shower. You can say your affirmations to yourself , it doesn’t need to be out loud and equally, you don’t want to look a wally while you are doing the weekly shop! They will start to feel more and more familiar as things start to change in your life.
Remember, persistence is the key. Keep going and don’t give up.
If you continue and stick with it, this exercise is like gold dust, it really is.
Enjoy, have fun with it, and please let me know how you get on, I want to hear all!
If you would like to know any more about the work that I do, or how I can help you, complete the contact form below.
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